Unexpected Shift
by Neptune's Mask
Summary: Haruka has confessed her love to Michi, only for Michi to reject her. It's been two months since that, and this is how Haruka's trying to cope with it. Complete!
1. Unexpected Shift

Unexpected Shift

_**How can it be that it doesn't hurt right now?  
Have I become numb from what I've known?  
Or have I sunk into the abyss of "friendship,"  
with you.  
Is that even possible?**_

It had been two months since Haruka had opened her heart to Michiru. Michiru, the one who understood everything about the blonde, more than she ever could have imagined. Grimacing at the memory of that particular event, Haruka buried her sandy head under a highly abused pillow. She didn't want to remember the pitying look that had come across the face of the one she held so dearly. Michi had been kind about it, sickeningly so. She had let her down gently, if there was such a thing. Michiru had tried to hug Haruka to her, to calm her down and let her know that even though she didn't feel the same way, she still cared for her. Haruka winced, she hated feeling vulnerable, and there had been no more barriers between the two, until Michiru had denied her.

_**How can ex lovers be now so little?  
Somewhere, buried, I'm sure is that heat,  
that longing and love.  
Yet it hurts less not to say it to you.**_

Haruka ignored the familiar dull ache somewhere in her chest, and thought about how in their past lives they had always been together, as friends, partners, and more. Laughing bitterly, she said partially out loud," At least my former selves got to be happy."

_**Can I be moving on?  
I pause to wonder about that a while.  
I'm not sure how I feel anymore, when it comes to you.  
I still can't sleep,  
stay awake until all hours of the night  
sometimes, with your name on my lips.**_

She refused to think about it any more for the remainder of the evening, or tried to at any rate. In all honesty, it did hurt less thinking about it, and she didn't have to worry about saying anything to Michiru as, after her refusal, Haruka had stared in disbelief before running away as fast as the wind would carry her. She had ignored Michi's attempt to follow her, merely picking up the pace, letting her element envelop her with its sighing scream. It wasn't exactly comforting, but it jarred her enough to recall her own inner strength. As the tears scorched her cheeks, she furiously wiped at them before deciding that it was healthy to cry. Maybe she could purge Michiru from her system, flood herself with the air, and put aside her memories for a time. The breeze had steadily climbed to a gale, and whipped her hair around and around, cruelly drying the damp teal of her eyes . Haruka ground her teeth, welcoming the stinging that reminded her she was still alive.

_**Kinda funny isn't it, how closely laced love and pleasure are  
with indescribable pain?  
I haven't been able to quit smoking,  
even though I know it's guiding me to an early grave.  
Hopefully soon I will, because I don't want the ashes  
of what we had, to become the base for my demise.**_

Haruka shook away that day of reckoning. She smiled a little as she reached for the pack of cigarettes kept on her night-stand. Blocking out the past, she lit one, inhaling strength from the whispered breath of death. She had been meaning to quit, but found it more difficult than she had thought. Already addicted, after only a few months of usage. Once she had found the willpower to stop she decided she should really write the tobacco company. Not that she'd hear anything back, she mused, blowing a stream of smoke upwards. It was the principle of the thing really. Unfortunately, her reprieve didn't last long. The average cigarette only took seven minutes or so to finish, and all the tobacco and nicotine in the world wouldn't be enough to erase Michi.

_**Can't touch a bottle,  
for fear I might drown.  
Lost in memories that sit too close to the heart.  
Empty echoes taunt me with their lies,  
and still I miss it in a way.**_

That was true enough, Haruka hadn't had the nerve to go near alcohol, for that exact reason. Her brother had fallen into the habit too easily, and since she didn't have Michiru around to stop her after only a couple of drinks, she knew better than to trust herself around the sly operator that is alcohol.

_**But here I am,  
watching and wondering,  
whether it was worth it.  
With a shake of my head,  
I remove myself from such nonsense.**_

_**For surely nonsense it is.  
I learned from you, that much is true.  
And I was happy for a while,  
though it burns me now  
to know what I gave to you,  
and the disaster thrown to me in the end.**_

Still knowing what she did, Haruka kept tabs of sorts on Michiru, trying to make sure that the aqua-haired girl was doing okay. Not that caring about Haruka was any skin off her back. Haruka's grip on her Coke bottle increased before she took another sip. Who was she kidding? She could no easier forget about Michi than block out the oxygen she needed to survive.

_**Still, I shall remember you fondly,  
as the sun sets behind me,  
and I walk forward.  
No one noticing the misstep,  
as I turn back one last time.**_

It was time for another cigarette, Haruka decided before she became any more contemplative and brooding. She had come to one conclusion though. She couldn't keep shutting Michi out completely. Countless, worried messages from her still waited on Haruka's answering machine. Evidently she did care to some extent, but would it be enough? Haruka sighed, pressing the heel of the hand not holding a cigarette to her aching forehead. Maybe Michiru would come around in the end. Haruka had no way of knowing, but she was becoming aware that without her, she was slowly suffocating. Regardless of the fact that it would feel like knives piercing her lungs, she had to start breathing again.

A/N: Wow, okay, that was harder than I thought it would be. The poem was written by me, so I guess I get to copyright myself? Lol. Rather than starting with a full-fledged fan fic, I thought I might try combining my specialty with this new field to make the transition easier. This is my first fan fiction EVER, so please be kind!

**Neptune's Mask...**


	2. Tears of Vodka

**Tears of Vodka**

Italics in the story refer to Michiru's thoughts.

**Dedication: Though it isn't quite a fully fledged fan fic, I'd like to dedicate it to the Ruka I know. Hope you enjoy it HK!**

Michiru wearily set the phone down after this last attempt to reach Haruka. She rose in search of aspirin to ward off the encroaching headache. It had been so long since they'd talked, she missed her friend. She took the pills with a glass of Smirnoff and ginger ale, then laid down on the couch, exhausted from constantly crying for so long.

_**Tears of vodka  
Ice for veins.  
I swear that slowly  
I'm going insane.**_

A few hours later or so, she got up, staring out the window, only to catch a fleeting glimpse of Ruka running down the street. Michiru sighed and pressed her cheek to the window pane, the fact that Ruka ignored her, stung. Was it even worth it anymore to try and remain friends?

_**Steeped in passion  
Heart of glass  
I'm crazy for wanting  
To make it last.**_

Ever since that day when Haruka had fled, Michiru had begun to question her response to what Ruka had said. _Did I really mean what I said to her? That I only care for her as a friend? If that's the case, then why do I feel slightly light headed when I'm around her? Why do I always wish she was here? Why did I want her to kiss me instead of run away? Is it possible I'm attracted to her, that I do want more than friendship? I hate being so unsure of myself._

_**Tempered by poison  
Face of shame  
How keen the sword  
Olove and of pain.**_

_**Tears of vodka  
Ice for veins  
I swear that slowly  
I'm going insane.**_

It didn't feel right to go out and have fun, when she knew how miserable Haruka was, so when her girlfriends called wanting to go dance, she politely refused, saying she had work to do. As Michi poured another glass, she kept thinking about her actions, and each time, fell a little deeper into the ditch of guilt she was digging for herself.

_**These desires seem so  
Forbidden.  
Can't reach out for solace  
So I am hidden.**_

_**Waiting in shadows  
Soul depraved.  
Shaking with wanting  
To grieve and to rage.**_

_What can I do now though? Have I burned that bridge between us irreparably? And why did Haruka have to go and complicate things anyway? Why couldn't she have just left well enough alone? But I miss her, I miss her so much. She was my best friend, and I'm so sick of this. I don't know if things can be the same, but then again, do I really want them to? There has to be a reason why she told me, as well as one why I feel so strongly for her as well. Enough is enough, one more drink, and I'm going over there. Vodka stop the tears, and give me the assurance I need to do this right._

_**Lost in translation  
Myself to blame  
I'm stupid for asking  
For love and for pain.**_

_**Tears of vodka  
Ice for veins  
I swear, I'm slowly  
Going insane!**_

Feeling slightly more confident, due mostly to the alcohol, Michiru stood up and dried her remaining tears, beginning the walk to Ruka's house, and prepared to eat crow. The walk took far less time than she was expecting, so she paused, her hand in the air, and debated. _Should I be here? What if she won't talk to me at all? What if she'll never talk to me again? I'm so stupid for coming here and expecting her just to accept what I'm about to do. _Then she reminded herself that she had a duty to their friendship to at least try and make amends, so she brought that hand to Haruka's door, swaying slightly from all that she'd drank.

After what seemed like an hour, the door finally opened to reveal none other than Tenoh Haruka. She seemed very surprised to see a rather drunk Michiru on her front porch. Not saying a word, she stepped inside, allowing the smaller girl to pass.

Before Michiru could start, Haruka beat her to it. "Kaioh-san, what are you doing here? And, are you drunk" she asked, quite baffled.

Michiru winced at the formality, and decided to directly contradict it. "I'm here, Ruka, because I'm sorry. And I'm only half-drunk, and thinking clearly. I've been drinking because I've missed you"

Haruka sighed, and looked at her answering machine. "Yeah, you've said that already."

Sending a glare Haruka's direction, Michiru continued,"I'm also here, Haruka, because I have something to tell you, and something I need to do."

To be continued...

A/N: I wasn't originally planning on continuing it, but now I'm glad I did. And I have another chapter for this in the making, so be on the look-out! Well, ja for now!

**Neptune's Mask**


	3. Reconciliation

**Reconciliation**

A/N: Alright, here's the finale! Hope you like it!

Haruka raised an eyebrow, then said," Alright, well I'm not stopping you," as she directed her eyes away from the tempting, intoxicated beauty before her, and lit a cigarette.

Michiru placed her delicate hand against the side of Haruka's cheek, turning it back to face her, "I came here to tell you, Ruka, that I love you."

Haruka was stricken speechless, and became quite concerned. "How much have you had to drink tonight Michiru?"

Michiru glared, and replied,"Not that much, alright? And if you'd shut up for a minute, I'd like to do what I came to."

Blowing a stream of smoke in the opposite direction of Michiru, she waited, and got more than she bargained for when Michi closed the distance between them, and kissed her gently. Haruka was in a bit of shock. Then Michi kissed her again, and Haruka started to think that maybe, just maybe, she was sincere, so she kissed her back.

Somewhere, a fuse snapped inside of Michiru, and she shoved Ruka back against the arm of the couch that she'd been sitting on, making it impossible for her to escape, and simply took.

When she finally released her, they were both quite out of breath, and again it was Ruka who spoke first.

"So did you really mean what you said, or was that the alcohol talking?" although it was phrased nonchalantly, the blonde's normally overly confidentcontralto voice was shaking.

Michiru just smiled, and whispered scant centimeters away from those lips flushed by her onslaught," Yes, I meant every word, and I'll say it again. I love you Tenoh Haruka."

It just seemed too good to be true. Haruka looked around for anything to explain Michiru's sudden change of heart, and came up lacking. She felt so frustrated because she wanted to trust the one person who mattered, but could she? Haruka sat back a little from her, and asked the question that burned in her mind.

"If this is really how you felt, then why did you hurt me so much before? Why did you destroy my hopes and tell me that you only wanted to be friends? Why did you make me suffer in solitude?"

Michiru's laughter had subsided. She could see the still very real pain in the teal orbs of Haruka's eyes and chose her answers carefully.

"I didn't want to hurt you, but I didn't know what else to do. I didn't know what my heart was trying to tell me. I'd never felt for anyone what I did, and do, for you. I've never opened up like I can with you, none of my friends know the first thing about me, except for you. I didn't know what that meant exactly. I'd never loved anyone before, and I didn't know how to react to what I was feeling. I would get light-headed just being around you sometimes, and when you got close to me, it was hard to breathe. I was scared. Scared of what my parents would say, if they would shun me completely for falling in love with a woman, or if they'd try to counsel it out of me. Therefore I've been fighting through this on my own too, and I'm so very sorry that I hurt you, it wasn't my wish to do so. I had hoped that we could talk things over, but you ran away, and wouldn't talk to me." She paused to brush away a few stray tears running down Haruka's beautiful face, and kissed her again softly.

"But eventually, with some help," she snickered," I was able to come find you, and I hoped you'd listen, because I won't let you go. There is noreason for me here, other than you."

A wave of relief pulsed into her at those words, and at last she allowed herself to believe that maybe things would work out for the better. She shifted back into her love's embrace, then Michiru's lips returned to hers, and she stopped thinking again for a long time. As she ran her long fingers through silky aqua locks, and kissed her lovingly, the last words she muttered that night were,

"And I love you Kaioh Michiru. I've loved you since that first day you went for a ride with me. You smiled up at me as we stood overlooking the sea, and I knew my heart no longer beat for myself alone. I can survive anything, as long as you're with me."

Therethey fell asleep, locked in a secure embrace until morning came, and had everything.

The End!

A/N: Wow, I finished it, but I'm afraid it might have ended a little suddenly, any suggestions on improvement? Either way, it's finished and I like how I resolved it, though the middle may be a little shaky. # dances # Now the only thing left to do, is have someone come dance with me. Any takers? # extends hand to whoever would be so kind # Until next time, ja!

**Neptune's Mask**


End file.
